Mandyworld

My Boyfriend

This is me and my boyfriend, Balu at our most recent show last month. He is an absolute star and I love him very much. I've had him for nearly 10 years now and and he's taught me so much. He's always done his absolute best to please me and I'm very attached to him, so why am I thinking about ditching him?
It's very complicated and I can't decide what to do. I've worked really hard on getting him and myself fit enough to compete again, but now were doing it I've suddenly realised that I don't have the same enthusiasm as I had for competition before I had a baby. I don't think it's nerves, although I did have quite a bad fall before Christmas which made me think, it's more that it just seems like such a huge amount of time, money and effort to get to a show and then it's fun but not that amazing. So I've been thinking about giving up. The thought of all the money I would save and the extra time I'd have is very tempting but then I look at this picture and realise how lucky I am. There are not many people who have a lovely horse like this that they can load up in their own trailer and take to show and be confident that they can enter a class and have a fair chance of coming away with a rosette.
So I don't know.
There are also some other factors, such as that he is not really happy at home here with just the pony for company. I also don't have a school here and I don't enjoy hacking him that much so keeping him fit in the winter was a nightmare. He's much happier at livery in Shaftesbury but it's too far from here to drive more than twice a week and pretty expensive too.
So I don't know.
Obviously the best thing to do financially is sell him, but he is 14 years old now and does have a bit of arthritis so I'm not sure that would be all that easy. Also it might just break my heart.
So I don't know.
We're also trying for another baby which obviously means no riding for a while and I'm not sure that if he had another year off I would ever get him fit again. It was a struggle this time what with foot problems and arthritis issues.
SO I DON'T KNOW.
I think my best option would be to try and loan him for a year. If I could find the right person who I trusted then maybe they could carry on having fun with him and he might just have some fun too. I'd feel like I was abandoning him to a stranger but then maybe he'd be better off with someone who had more time for him.
SO I STILL DON'T KNOW.
Am I being pathetic? Am I being selfish? Am I being totally self absorbed? Answers on a postcard or better still in the comments please!

The Other Brits Abroad.

So we've been back a week and yes, it already seems like a distant memory. We had a great time though, except for the weather not being all that good. Apparently Cyprus was unbelievably scorching in April then the week before we arrived they had really bad thunder storms. We just caught the tail end of this with a few overcast days and the odd shower. It made me worry more about climate change though (I kept an eye on the shore in case the water got sucked out!!).
The Munchkin was really good. I bought a book with jigsaws in the pages which went down really well and kept her busy on the plane. (Of course I nearly went demented doing the same jigsaws over and over again for 4 hours but heyho!) She also loved the creche and I have to say I was totally impressed with Powder Byrne. The staff and facilities were excellent and we will definately be using them again.
Weird thing. There was a guy at the hotel who looked remarkably like someone I went to school with, Simon Hall. We were quite good friends at one point I seem to remember but I wouldn't have seen him for about 15 years. I kept looking at him trying to figure out if it was him, he probably thought I was nuts and I dread to think what his wife thought, but I just couldn't decide. I thought his voice sounded too different. (I was listening too!) The thing is why didn't I just go and ask him? It's strange but at a hotel like that (mainly British couples and young families) no one really talks to each other. We did talk to one couple on the beach, only after I offered them a dry nappy for their baby, but apart from that it was just the staff at the hotel. I'm just as bad as anyone else by the way. J is much better he'll talk to anyone but I don't know, when everyone is in couples in a romantic setting you feel like your intruding or interrupting or something. We decided its a British thing. Americans for instance seem much more open. We've met some lovely people when we've been on holiday in the Caribbean. I don't know why but the British seem stiff abroad, its a bit like being on the tube, everyone together, separately.  So my resolution is to be more friendly, and in this way at least a little less British!
Meanwhile I never did find out if it was him or not and now I am destined to spend the rest of my life wondering. Oh well!

Farewell

We're off on holiday. You will find me here. My apologies to anyone flying on the same plane as me, you're probably going to get my cold (it still hasn't gone!).  I see it as payback for all the times I have been infected on flights. I also feel it is my duty to give your immune system a work out. You'll be stronger for it in the long run.
I intend to lie in the sun, drink cocktails at the swim up bar and visit the spa. The munchkin is booked into the childrens club which I'm hoping will be a success. We also have a babysitter booked for the evenings, needless to say we will not be leaving her unattended at any time.

Sniff

I've got a cold. It's horrible and just not right in this sunny weather. In the winter I sort of expect a cold and there's even something comforting about wrapping yourself in a blanket and drinking lemsip, but it's hot and sunny and I want to be outside enjoying it :-( Still, we go on holiday next Friday so at least I should be over it by then. I'm afraid it's the price I pay for those few hours of freedom I get while the munchkin is at preschool. Children are disease ridden I have discovered and they have these weird and wonderful bugs that they can infect you with. Munchkin has already had hand, foot and mouth and this latest is slapped cheek virus. I was much happier when I didn't know what these things were.